There are two parts to life. The start of the second part of our lives may begin without us even knowing, but that suffering is involved in ” a deep invitation to something more.”
The second part of our journey begins with a sacrifice. For me that was breaking up with my ex-fiance, leaving my job and country that I had taught in for 11 years.
It’s about not staying on the path we were on before. It’s finding the right path.
We learn so much more spiritually by doing it wrong than by doing it right.
Like skaters, to move forward you must also move side to side.
Life is not about constant growth.
The first part of life is:
- “What makes me significant”
- “How can I support myself” and
- “Who will go with me” the serving part is to find the contents. Cast your net into the deep.
The first 3 concerns of the first half of life are identity; security; sexuality/gender. Too much focus is spent on this for all of some people’s lives. As the author calls it, structuring of the ego. It’s narcissism. Once you reach the end you will have the ‘ who am I?’ question
Change must be programmed into your spirituality. Otherwise, you will end up worshiping the status quo, and your ever-fragile ego. If you don’t change, then you should embrace extinction.
To begin the hero’s journey, the first step is to leave your home!
The first half of life
You need to fall and learn from these failings. But there should be limits for you to follow, not chaos. When you discharge the ‘soldier’ it will feel like a loss of self
Stumbling Stone
You will lose and must lose something. The first for me was a breakup of a long relationship, and the second, was China and the Shanghai lockdown – alongside not seeing my partner for 2.5 years because of the strict entry requirements to China. This helps us let go of our egocentric obsessions. This cannot be planned for, it just is.
You must stumble and fall, and remember you cannot move into the second half of life until you went through the first half.
Necessary Suffering and Second Half
If you want to save your life, you must first lose it. You must go through the pain.
“Truth sets you free, and it tends to make you miserable”. The false self is the role, title, and self-image. Creation of own mind. By shedding the false self, you will discover your true self. The true self is who you were in the beginning in the eyes of God.
A person who has found themselves lives life in the big picture – as part of history.
In the second half, you look for things that we all have in common. The first half is looking for something that makes us different
“Live simply so that others can live!” Elizabeth Seton
Don’t trap yourself in a persona, as you won’t be able to live up to it all of the time. A persona is what most people want from you and reward you for and what you choose to identify yourself with. Make friends with the people who challenge your persona, otherwise, you can’t move from the first half. The shadow is what you refuse to see about yourself and what you don’t want others to see. The shadow must have light shed on it, so it can expose the hidden things. You have to shadow box to come to your fullness of life
Your circle of real friends will grow smaller in the second half. In the second half, allow others to do what they must do; first half others.
Introversion follows us in the second half of life, alongside a need for less stimulation. In the second half, you become the real person you were meant to be eg. Doer becomes a thinker, a visionary becomes practical
Mirroring
Is about how people react to you. And that comments to you are not about you, but about the person saying them.
The author says that the more you fall, the easier it is to bounce.